My Year Update: Life Abroad England and America

Wow, I can’t believe a year ago now I started this blog, only to leave it behind due to procrastination, which I am so great at. This past year has been such a crazy one. I can’t even put into words how many times creativity seemed to be lacking in my mind. Surely, I tell myself that’s what pushed me away from coming on here and updating my blog.

 So as far as my title goes, I thought I’d want to update you on whats been happening in my life. I have visited England two times now and I am pretty sure that I have never seen such a beautiful city like York in my life. Yes, I could be biased seeing how it’s where my boyfriend is from, but truly I have fallen in love with the architecture and history that lies within its walls.

This past visit I stayed for three weeks, and it killed me to say goodbye to a country that took so long to get used to in the first place, half of it had to do with home-sickness (and trust me for any expats or international students abroad you defiantly know what I am on about) and another part of it had to do with culture shock. It’s often said that America and England are as close as it gets to being a like in comparison to other countries on similarity, and whilst I can get in on that, from my point of view could also disagree too.  But to an extent I see where many people could see similarities, many even, but here is some I’d like to point out that I noticed that were much different for me.

(SIDE NOTE: These are things that I am saying I personally felt was different or a bit of a shock to me, and in no way say this is for all who are abroad or visiting England.)

ICE:

Okay, so I already know what you’re thinking heres this American who whinges about not having Ice in her drink but hear me out. For me ice is a big thing! I have it with any drink I plan on having, whether that be soda, some juices, or coffee. You see having my drink chilled for some reason never did it really for me, or worse flat and warm. As said by my many British friends, it’s not so much so that England doesn’t like to have ice in their drink, but that it saves you money in the long run. Now at first I was slightly confused how that might be. Than I analyzed what was being said and realized that they meant by not asking for ice in your drink you were getting more soda than if you were getting ice in it.

So yes, who wouldn’t want more drink than the ice thats nearly filled to the top in order for wherever your at to make more money by you asking for a refill if the place doesn’t do freebees. It’s very smart that logic, but unfortunately my habit is to hard to overcome to not ask for Ice, so sorry for whomever is serving me if you hate the thought of me asking for ice. (Yes, I’ve been given dirty looks by some for even mentioning it, and have had some looked confused as if ice wasn’t even a thing, and last but not least some that could care less if they gave it to me or not — thank you by the way.)

                                                              Quite good phrase:

So if any of you use this phrase like I do, be mindful to some people who may take offense to this phrase. Usually where I am from its normal to use this phrase to say you’re pleased with anything, but to some folk in England without even knowing I may have sounded a bit rude, to some others it was fine. My dearest apologies to anyone that thought it wasn’t “quite” there. Meaning that steak I had was amazing really, that movie was pretty good, and the dessert was lovely.

Watch here to see Emily Blunt mention it on an interview with Stephen Cobert    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR8oSyiBlIM

Mexican Food:

So this part is most defintly just could be a me thing, seeing how I am Mexican American, and I have had the luxury to have both Tex-Mex and authetic Mexican food. The home- sickness does kick in pretty hard here though, since most shops in the U.K. unless your around London, have very limited Mexican food options (now I know for a fact that Mexican immigration in England is very few, look yourself on Mexican immigration in the U.K.) but it was something very hard to find whilst in England. All but instant El Paso kits and less than satisfactory Mexican resturants in England had me slightly sad. Than a miracle happened, other than not giving up and trying many more all around England, and me not being ignorant and shopping to cook myself Mexican food when I had a case of the blues — my boyfriend who loves Mexican food as well found an amazing one in Liverpool called Lucha Libre and I fell in love. Needless to say if your looking for some nice Mexican resturants Liverpool and Manchester is the place to be to feel a bit at home.

 

After all of that though, England had so many more lovely things to boast about than the very few to nothing downsides because of my comfortability back home. Which at the end of the day was changed by the end of my trip. England had changed me for the better, and by that I mean opened me up to new experiences, new food, and a lovely culture that is shaping me still today. England is my second home, it is home to my best friend and boyfriend (future husband next year) and for that I couldn’t be anymore grateful. This past year has been a whirlwind of travels for me that I am dying to share here on Teccas World that I so look forward to you reading!

 

If you haven’t caught up on my past posts catch up now below! I can’t wait to be more active on here, and hopefully get to share with you curious readers who I hope enjoy this post and even give me some feedback on what you would like to read in the future, because I am more than excited to share more!

 Tata for now

                                                                           – Jess x

 

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A Open Letter To my bullies:

Hello, its me! The girl you used to throw papers at the back of her head, that used say ‘ your fat and ugly die’ you know the one that throwing pens and sharp pencils didn’t effect her because I look depressed all the time. Right. Her. The girl all other girls would call a weirdo, freak, geek, dyke (which was harsh in its own category to my very close LGBT friends) and to guys I was nothing but a peace of meat who dressed too “guyish” not that that was a word anyways.

My bullying days have to this day when I reflect back on them still strike a nerve in me, for various reasons. I can sit here and say the usual “why me?” “what did I ever do to them?” “why can’t I fit in with everybody else?” but than I just let them win more. The funny thing looking back on it, was that I could never think of a time where I told myself, “Hey, what they’re doing is wrong, but don’t let it bother you because you’re worth so much more than what they perceive you as.” Ah wouldn’t that have been such great advice to fully understand as a then eight to eighteen year old me.

These days I would say a lot has changed and a lot has stayed the same when it comes to my personality. I’m not the most outgoing and extroverted person as I so claim to be on my resume (insert laughter here) but I am also not the same shy girl who could barely get a sentence out without turning the shade of a tomato. I still read, write, and love a lot of the things I used to growing up that still interest me today. All things that my bullies seemed to be keen on making fun of. I’m not as self conscious as one would be after years of bullying on my physical appearance, but it’s still something I strongly fight to improve each day.

I guess you can say I gave you a very short description on my bullying case (to spare painful memories that are far worse than you can imagine.) But I would rather much focus on telling you what I got out of this all. Strength and courage.

Dear Bullies,

You did not win, even when you wanted to see me fail, you didn’t win. I will admit that once upon a time ago y’all effected my self esteem, crushed my heart, and broke me down completely and I wish that for ever reason you felt that you needed to do that to me, I wish you to be or have grown as a person, and see that your past actions will one day come back to you and guilt will arise, and hopefully you can reflect and forgive yourself as I have forgiven you. I hope that you will also teach your kids and future grandchildren one day that no matter what the reason may be that bullying someone is never the way to go, and hopefully they’ll listen.

The craziest thing about this whole ordeal that all of you felt the need to put me through…… is something at this age of twenty I am still baffled with.

Thank you.

Thank you for making me a stronger person, thank you for personally making me love myself that much more, for making me believe that without all these trial and tribulations I wouldn’t be me — Jess.

I even took the liberty to say hi to a couple of you through the years, and had always got mixed reactions. Whether you were one of the few that apologized, one of the few that looked as if you never knew who I was, thought I was a complete creep, or to the very many who seemed to still be the same person I met when you were bullying me, thank you for all you’ve done for me. I am a better person because of you, and I just wanted to let you know that from the bottom of my heart the pain I used to feel remembering you is now nothing but a memory that I barely think back on, because you have no more control on me.

For all of you out there that suffer, or have suffered from bullying you’re not alone, and let me tell you this is in no way shape or form advice on how to move on from bullying or reassurance that you will be able to cope or move on almost completely as I did, but a simple story of how I chose not to let my bullies define me. I am a lovely person, as I am sure to all those that are reading this now, feeling as though they can relate to this in some way or another, hope that one day you too will be free from any painful memory they have ever brought to you, or  bringing to you presently.

Always remember your worth and that you’re not alone!

Feel free to message me if you ever need advice, like, comment, and if your open enough tell me your bullying story and tell me how you conquered it! 🙂 Down below!

 

Are you socially awkward?

Its been my third post on my first day as a new blogger on wordpress, and I have got to say I honestly am either that bored, or completely have no life at all. I would claim the later to be true. Today was a crazy day and not in a good way. Today was the day I told myself it’s time to get yourself out there and meet new people, make new friends! I guess it never dawns on me how hard that truly is. Especially for a girl like me, who can barely say two words without stuttering and making a complete fool of herself. I mean can anyone out there agree with me? The funny thing is growing up I never seemed to have a problem being able to socialize with people effortlessly, I was the class clown if you will, and everyone wanted to be my friend for some apparent reason, but it didn’t take long for my self esteem to drop by a mile stone, and all sense of socializing had stopped. To be fair a lot has happened in my life that I can say contributed to that ; Bullying played a crucial part in my life since I was very young, either I always looked like a ‘boy’ to people, which to be honest has never been in insult to me now looking back at it, but for a six year old girl who was trying to get used to being at school without her family – it was a lot to take in. I was “too skinny or too fat” “too tomboyish” “ugly” “weird” and it later made me hate myself. I couldn’t be around anyone without thinking that they were talking bad about me, or laughing at me. To this day I find myself avoiding social situations for fear of judgement, and each day I try to tell myself that I am a strong independent woman who does her best to be as confident as possible, because we socially awkward peeps, the “weirdos”, the unique people are worth much more than peoples opinion and deserve to be happy. Today, as I walked through a crowd of people at a party, I did my best to avoid making small talk and being able to carry a good conversation (something I’m very bad at.) Most people failed at it, and some did very good at keeping the conversation flowing, at the end of the day I walked away with some numbers from people I would hope to get to know in the future, and hopefully build close friendships with, but only time will tell.

What about you? What would you classify your personality and social life to be like. Tell me in the comments below, and if you have any stories of embarrassing times you tried to make friends tell me down below!

Tata for now

-Jess x 🙂

Love Questioning :

Oh love,

Sweet sweet love, and what it does to us. When I was younger growing up seemed like the hardest thing to do. It was unexplainable to me that life consisted of growing up and going to school, meet new people, grow older, meet someone you love – get married, have kids, and eventually they’d feel the same way I once did. Interesting enough for the first time   my niece sat next to me while we were going over her homework and it dawned on me that I too once was in her position. Not a care in the world, life was limitless and fun and play was what we lived life for. When she looked over at me in a daze she asked me what I had been secretly thinking to myself. “Why does love hurt?” It was funny turning my head to see her with a puzzled face, slightly uncomfortable with the question being asked at such a young age I let out a sigh and tried to tell her something that was both truthful and yet understandable for a girl her age. “Well you see, love is a very strong thing in life that we all feel whether its family love, friend love, or relationship love. When I was little like you I used to believe that I would never grow up, or least hoped I wouldn’t, because I thought love was this big scary thing that would hurt me. And you know what? It does, love can make you feel a lot of things, and sometimes love will hurt you a lot so much that you wish you never loved in the first place, because you feel like you can’t take it, love is also something very beautiful — sometimes even unique, it can also bring you great happiness and make you feel like all you want to do is smile which is why at the end of the day when you love something or someone so much no matter how much it hurts you, its a beautiful thing.” “Yeah love is confusing.” My niece responded, I couldn’t help but laugh and nod. “Yes, yes it is.”

Hello, my name is confused. What’s yours?:

Hey my little space on the internet that’s private but not so private. I guess I’d like to think that when writing this the person on the other side knows me. In a way I feel like that makes things easier, but I guess everyone who owns a blog could say that its always a little bit nerve wracking to start something new and see what the outcome could or could not be. I am most likely not the average blogger you run onto here, or other popular blog sites like tumblr, which in secrecy I own many accounts. Some rather successful than others I own. Most people would probably think I am a fantastic writer, I am not. My grammar? On point. Yeah….not really. Age? Late 20’s early 30’s. Nah, I’m only twenty one. In fact I guess that’s the point of this blog anyhow. Its not meant to be perfect, but its not supposed to be sloppy either. I sat here for a couple of hours to think — what a great first post I would write, but instead found myself thinking too much. Really what blogging should always be about…is to be yourself. So ranting aside my first post is accomplished and it is totally terrible haha. Well, here goes nothing. Hello Internet my names Jess and I am a confused twenty year old girl who loves to read, write, and laugh. I might or might not be addicted to coffee and I am a seasoned advice giver. Oh did I also mention I have a serious case of social awkwardness? Ah never mind that I’m just weird. Now what about you? Whats your name.

Tata for now.

-Jess xo